How living with my parents has actually improved my dating life

After my divorce, tasks as simple as mowing the lawn felt huge

Yanking the cord, the lawn mower roars to life, spewing bits of grass and gasoline fumes. Pushing the mower forward, row after row in neat lines across the lawn, I am hot, sweaty and cursing the bugs flying at my face. And I feel triumphant. I was 33, owned my own home and had never mowed a lawn in […]

5 things that cost as much as the average U.S. wedding

As you know, weddings can be incredibly expensive to throw — and the costs are rising ever year. The average price of a U.S. wedding held in 2015 was $32,641, according to a survey of nearly 18,000 brides conducted by the Knot. This is an increase of more than $5,500, or 20 percent, in the past five […]

How to throw a bachelorette party without annoying everyone around you

Welcome to Wedding Guest Wednesday, a Solo-ish feature that explores the joys and woes of attending other people’s weddings. Because it’s not all about the happy couple — it’s a big day for guests as well. If you’ve been to a bar or restaurant on a weekend, you’ve probably run into a bachelorette party. They’re not hard to […]

The 2016 election is everywhere. But dating apps remain mostly apolitical.

The 2016 election is everywhere: This year, there’s been a debate or primary every few days; it’s hard to get through family gatherings without the candidates coming up in conversation; and you can probably tell me exactly who among your Facebook friends supports Donald Trump, is with Hillary Clinton or is #FeelingtheBern. But while swiping through Tinder, Bumble and Hinge in the Washington area, […]

You made lobster? How romantic — and nauseating.

Michael and I were dating for a month when he offered to make me dinner. I was elated. Thirty-six and very single, this was the closest I’d come to a long-term relationship in five years. Yet, as an incredibly picky eater, I was terrified. What if I didn’t like his cooking? People can be sensitive […]

Only fools attempt a breakup prank on April 1

Some April Fools jokes are hilarious, or at least memorable. The fake breakup, however, isn’t one of them. It’s a tired joke, too. Last year a woman in Scotland sent an “I don’t want to be with you anymore” WhatsApp message to her boyfriend just a minute into April 1, followed by “I’m not happy.” He responded […]

Podcast: Unmarried women could decide the 2016 election

Will unmarried women decide the 2016 election? Page Gardner, founder of the Voter Participation Center, thinks they could. In 2016, they’re predicted to be a quarter, or more, of the electorate, she said. And they vote heavily Democratic. It all hinges on turnout. Unmarried women are more mobile than married ones, Gardner said. They’re also more stretched economically, […]

One man’s 100 interviews to find out why his flings failed

By the time New York-based comedian Billy Procida was 24, he’d noticed a pattern: The women he hooked up with never wanted to get serious. A die-hard romantic, he didn’t understand what he was doing to disqualify himself from being relationship material. Who better to ask, he figured, than his past flings themselves? That was the […]

I agreed to a threesome. I didn’t think he’d invite my ex.

It was Saturday night, and I had sunk into post-breakup wallow. A half-empty bottle of pinot noir sat beside me as I huddled under a blanket and drunkenly swiped through a torrent of strangers. Several weeks earlier, a relationship in that limbo between exclusively hooking up and emotionally committed had ended. It had been my first substantive connection with someone […]

Looking for friends on a dating app is awkward. But it worked.

I’m all about female friendship and the power of sisterhood. So when the dating app Bumble announced Bumble BFF, its new feature to find platonic friends, my swiping finger was ready. I moved to D.C. from Austin six months ago, and I haven’t yet found my group of female friends. It’s hard to make friends as an adult — […]

After sexual assault, survivors’ memories often get foggy. Jian Ghomeshi’s acquittal ignored that.

Jian Ghomeshi, a former CBC radio host, was acquitted of sexual assault charges on Thursday. For rape survivors like myself, the decision from Canadian justice William M. Horkins was disturbingly familiar, namely in its common misunderstanding of how sexual assault survivors think and act. The decision failed to recognize that jumbled and fragmented memories are the brain’s way of coping […]

Why I stopped having sex in public places

I joined the Mile High Club once it became clear that the marriage I was two months into was simply an adventure, not a lifelong commitment. The Southwest employees knew what we were up to. We were behind the flight crew on an escalator headed to baggage claim at the Denver airport as one flight attendant […]

I’m not afraid of commitment — I just love my independence

When an ex-boyfriend recently announced his 10th anniversary with his girlfriend on Facebook, I silently congratulated him for spending the past decade in a serious relationship while I remained single. I’ve had my share of romantic relationships in that time, but none has lasted longer than a few months. A couple of exes have accused me of not being able to […]

The year I got honest with myself: I’m queer and not cut out for monogamy

I decided that 2015 would be my year of yes. I would go back to my West Coast roots and move from New York to Oakland. And after years of being interested in women but not acting on it, I would be honest about my sexuality and change my orientation on OkCupid from straight to bisexual. Besides […]

I have a lot of baggage. How much do I unload on a first date?

I keep a little notebook full of men’s names. I started it two years ago, not long after my then-husband was court-ordered out of our house. At the moment there are 48 names. Next to their names are pithy reminders of who they are, what we did on our first date and my first impressions of them. […]

I’d love to be your bridesmaid. But first, here are my demands.

Welcome to Wedding Guest Wednesday, an occasional feature in which Solo-ish explores the joys and woes of attending other people’s weddings. Because it’s not all about the happy couple — it’s a big day for guests as well. Hello, darling! You and Tom are engaged — how wonderful! I always knew you two were meant to be. It […]

What happens when your Tinder date supports Trump and you don’t?

On Super Tuesday I was texting the guy who’d super-liked me on Tinder, reminding him to make it to the polls. A few weeks prior, I’d reluctantly gotten back on the dating app believing this time it would be different. This time I would be more discerning, with well-defined deal-breakers. You never know what you’re […]

Go ahead, ladies, make the first move. You’ll date more attractive men.

I remember the day my mind changed about making the first move. I was at the beach alone. I’d called off of work for a desperately needed personal day. School was back in session. The beach was practically empty. But there was a lone, well-built stranger to my right. He’d been looking at me, and I’d been […]

I’m the oldest sister in my family and I’m single. And that’s okay.

Walking into my grandparents’ house, my grandmother greets me with her usual expression: “Oh my heart, it’s so good to see you,” she says, clutching me close. “Now,” she adds. “Let’s talk. Both your sisters are in serious relationships. When do you think you plan to get in one, too?” Ouch. It was the moment I […]